


Back Against Darkness

by KnowingNoMore



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Deidara is fabulous, Gen, High School, Kakashi is depressed and hates humankind, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Sexual Content, One-Sided Attraction, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Team Taka deserves more screen time, The author doesn't condone dating minors, bad friend Suigetsu, hinted ex-KakaSasu, mama-hen Itachi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:49:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnowingNoMore/pseuds/KnowingNoMore
Summary: Modern high school AU. Haunted by the death of his family and a toxic relationship with someone he wasn't supposed to date, Sasuke finally reunites with his brother Itachi after all these years. Moving from a big city to small town Konoha, will Sasuke be able to resolve the hatred and misunderstanding between him and his brother? And can he reciprocate the friendship Naruto offers, even if it means he needs to break down the walls he built around himself?One-sided SasuNaru. Ex-KakaSasu. Angst.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Team Hebi | Team Taka, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 19
Kudos: 26





	1. The Color Blue

**Author's Note:**

> So I originally published this on FanFiction.net back in 2015. Now, since a lot of my perspectives have changed, I also want to re-edit and continue the fic with some mild changes on setting. Mainly, make it less angsty and less yaoi-themed (yes, it used to be like that). I want to focus more on family-bond, hurt/comfort and friendship. Don’t worry about Naruto and Suigetsu, they’ll make their entrances soon enough (chapter 3).

Droplets of rain splattered against his windshield as he pulled his Toyota into the airport parking lot. The sky was of a dull, grayish blue, adding an even gloomier atmosphere to the already melancholy Friday. Friday wasn’t always his favorite, though from now on he could hope for some change since, starting from _today_ , he wouldn’t be spending all his weekends alone. Yes, the days of dark living room, heavy old novels and sloppy suppers would soon fade into memories. 

The idea of not being alone bringing him a rush of relief fascinated him. He usually regarded himself as someone who was _good at_ being left alone. He had always been left rather secluded. As a child, his early signs of genius made it difficult for him to blend in with peers. Even if he wanted to hide amongst the crowd, it was not an easy feat. He always knew before he was told. His mind always took him to the terminus when everyone else was only halfway there. Pretending to be on the same page as other people was usually out of option.

It was tiring. He couldn’t care less to explain information (which he took for granted) to people with baffled faces (this would be the reason why he had almost lost his previous job, but now he knew better). And truth be told, he would like to have friends and companions ( _but it was okay. He was fine being on his own._ ); he was also very practical—it was impossible for someone like him to make a bunch of friends, for he was inhumanly cool, far too pragmatic, and an impossibly obsessive-compulsive perfectionist. 

He couldn’t help smiling when he thought about it. There was at least one good thing—he had a good sense of humor, and whether people understand it or not, he knew when to laugh at himself and made the bad situation bearable. After all, he wasn’t Itachi Uchiha for nothing. 

.:.

Inside the airport terminal it was crowded with people and their unnecessary luggage. Itachi picked a quiet spot and stood next to a vending machine; he thought that he would be easier to find this way, but he hadn’t been worried. He knew that no matter what, _he would be found_ . It was somewhat like an instinct. (And, _yes_ , he believed in instincts.) 

Ten minutes later, he saw someone approaching him. Good timing, just as he had expected. It was a boy around the age of sixteen, dressing in a plain black turtleneck and dark jeans, with a navy blue backpack dangling loosely on his left shoulder. Itachi recognized the boy the moment his eyes met with the latter’s, even though they hadn’t seen each other in three years.

Rather than waving at him, Itachi greeted the boy with a simple nod. The latter blinked and looked straight back. Two pairs of coal-dark eyes met one another.

“It's been a long time. You are taller,” Itachi said. “ _Sasuke._ ” 

The boy stuck his hands into his pockets and shrugged. Itachi almost smirked. _He did not change at all_ , he thought to himself. _Or did he?_

“Would you like something to drink? I suppose some icy beverage after a long flight would be refreshing. After all, we have another two-hour drive to my place,” Itachi gestured the vending machine. 

Sasuke looked up, glancing the machine briefly. 

“Sure,” Sasuke said. And it was the first time after years Itachi heard his little brother’s voice. It had become a little bit deeper and a little bit grittier. _Has he been crying over his uncle’s untimely death?_ Itachi wondered. 

As much as he wanted to look at his brother more closely, Itachi suppressed this notion and, after buying a bottle of tomato juice for Sasuke ( _what sort of vending machine sells tomato juice, though? But his little brother liked it. So who cares? Also, it was a gesture of friendliness._ ), started to walk toward the exit; Sasuke followed without a word. Their reunion moment was so brief that Itachi couldn’t tell whether Sasuke was glad, or upset to be here. But it was as though his little brother’s skill of masking emotion had become just as good as his. It wasn’t something Itachi was happy to see. He had received the phone call only a month ago, informing him his uncle (and, once, his guardian) Obito’s sudden death and that Sasuke would be staying with him. Sasuke had then written him some short emails—because, no, Itachi was not friends with Sasuke on any social media platforms. Not that he used them—telling Itachi that he had chosen to move in with him instead of with some distant relatives, even if it meant that he would have to transfer to a new high school and settle down in a new town.

Three long years since they last saw each other. Itachi wondered if anything between them had changed. The last time they saw each other it was at an airport, too. Itachi was leaving for graduate school. Sasuke was there with Obito and they stood there watching him walk away. Itachi had noticed the way Sasuke's black eyes smolder...

“Oi,” a voice called him back to reality.

“Yes?” Itachi stopped and looked back. 

They were already outside the airport. In the drizzle and cold, Sasuke looked unfazed.

“So we’re heading to the town you live, now?” Sasuke was asking. 

“Yes, it's called _Konoha_ . I don't exactly live _in_ the town. It's more like the outskirts of Konoha.” 

Sasuke nodded and replied with a snort.

“I guess it’s been hard for you these days?” Itachi asked, walking up to his parked car. 

“Not really,” Sasuke said with the same blank face, getting in the car on the other side. “Obito died in his sleep. I suppose that’s a good thing.” 

Itachi didn’t know if the words were meant to be bitter, or it was his imagination again. 

“He was always healthy, and was only in his late-thirties...” he sighed. 

“Yeah, he was.” 

“He was an athletic man," Itachi said, and then, “You seem very athletic, too,” he added. 

“Hn,” Sasuke blushed faintly and Itachi smiled again. Since he had memories, he had been very good at making his little brother self-conscious. Sasuke had always made it too easy. The fact that this little thing hadn’t changed much suddenly made Itachi’s heart a little bit warm.

It fell back into silence again. Itachi turned on the radio. The rain had gotten heavier, and the loud noise brought a cold feeling down Itachi’s gut, mixing with the previous warm sensation and cooling it down. 

“How about school? Aren’t you worried about transferring to a new high school?” Itachi asked. 

“No,” Sasuke deadpanned.

“Why?”  
“School work doesn’t worry me,” Sasuke said nonchalantly. “It’s easy.” 

“I wasn’t talking about your school work,” Itachi said. “You are going to have to adjust to new surroundings.” 

Sasuke didn’t say anything, so Itachi continued. “You have to part with friends, and make new acquaintances.” 

“I don’t have friends,” was all Sasuke said.

.:.

Itachi got out of the car and waited for Sasuke, who gathered his backpack and silently got out as well.

“You live alone in this place?” He heard his brother asking, staring at his two-storey house, a hint of surprise in his voice. 

“Yes,” Itachi replied. “It’s my house. It’s not rented, if that's what you're asking.” 

“That’s some luxury,” Sasuke stated plainly.

“I guess you could say that,” Itachi said good-humoredly. His house was certainly more accommodating than Obito’s ancient apartment in Oto. However, he couldn’t take all the credit, since their parents left them some money.

They stopped at the front porch, waiting for Itachi to open the door. When Itachi stepped into the house, he could feel something different—something had changed. He couldn't quite describe it. He was never with someone else in this house (the short visits of Kisame or Nagato doesn't count); he never had someone stay overnight. 

He didn't need to turned the lights on to find the door to the living room. For a moment, he kept walking in the dark, until he heard Sasuke’s voice again. 

“Are you going to turn on the light?” 

“Ah, yes.” He remembered. The long hallway was suddenly lit. He watched as Sasuke glanced at the beige wall decorated with some framed postmodern artworks. He then led the way to the living room, which was behind the first door on the left side. 

Sasuke followed him into the large living area and dumped his bag on one of the black couches. 

“Now I'm going to make us dinner. You can come with me, or stay here and watch some tv.” 

.:. 

He was frying fish when Sasuke sneaked into the kitchen. He said ‘sneak’ because Sasuke was quiet and stealthy as a cat. He turned to gaze at his brother, who seemed very out-of-place, and smiled gently. 

“Bored?” He guessed. 

“By the news. There aren't anything new,” Sasuke said. _Was he pouting? Just like old times._

“I don't think it's the right way to put it. The events may be similar, but they are new occurrences.”

“You just have to prove me wrong,” Sasuke smirked slightly, and all of a sudden it was very familiar to something they used to have—he and Sasuke, arguing over small, trivial things. 

Itachi smiled and turned back to the pan and the fish. He could almost smell of the deliciousness.

“There are two guest rooms upstairs,” he said. “You can pick your own room.” 

Sasuke nodded. Itachi knew because he glanced back when he didn't hear a reply. His brother had become more stoic. Itachi thought about it and sighed. It was expected, but he didn't like it. He had hoped that after all these years, Sasuke would become more communicative.

.:. 

“So, how are you, Sasuke?” 

The younger brother looked up from his plate, continuing to chew on his food and looking slightly confused, as if it was a stupid question to ask.

“I’m fine,” he said. 

“It was hard for you." 

“It was okay,” Sasuke said, with some emphasis. 

“Uncle Obito died.” 

“Yes he did,” Sasuke agreed. “What exactly are you trying to say?” 

“Nothing. I just wasn’t expecting you with such calmness...” Itachi pressed. 

Sasuke’s face went blank. 

Itachi studied his brother’s face. He had grown up, a lot. He was still about two inches shorter than Itachi, but he wasn’t a boy anymore. His shoulder broadened, his frame lean but wiry. His face was still smooth and pale, still somewhat feminine, resembling their late mother a lot.

“What?” Sasuke frowned. 

“Nothing,” Itachi smiled. Whatever happened, it was good to have his brother back. 

.:. 

Sasuke didn’t make any comments, so Itachi had to guess and deduce. 

He guessed the dinner was fine, since Sasuke sat on the couch the rest of the night and didn’t move much. He could only assume it was because his brother had had too much to eat despite his obvious tiredness after the long flight. 

He could also safely assume that Sasuke found the house comfortable and the hot bath refreshing, for Sasuke spent quality time in the bathroom and when he came out, Itachi found his younger brother with relaxed expression and gait. 

But he had to worry about Sasuke’s life before he came here. Had he been eating properly? Had he been sleeping well? Had their uncle taken good care of him? He used to write letters to Sasuke regularly, but Sasuke never replied. Their correspondence stopped a long time ago.

He watched Sasuke’s back as he walked toward the guest rooms. For a brief moment, Itachi wanted to follow him and just asked him those question, or, no, just put his hand on his brother’s shoulder, making sure that he was there at all. Maybe Sasuke would tremble and that tough façade he put up would shattered beneath the touch. 

Sasuke shut the door behind him, leaving Itachi standing on the empty hallway. Itachi turned off the light. He knew the way in the house. He didn’t need any light. 

.:.

Sasuke strolled into his new room. It was a cozy room furnished in the similar fashion as the rest of the house—simple, neat, and elegant, Itachi’s style. The wall was painted in light blue instead of beige, which was probably why Sasuke chose it; blue was his favorite color ever since he was little (even though he actually prefered navy blue). There was a couple of french windows leading to a small terrace, but the view was currently concealed by violet curtains. There were a double bed, a desk, a chair, and even an armchair by the windows. And bookshelves. The walls were lined up with bookshelves. It was also a main reason why Sasuke liked this room. There would be plenty of room for him to store his books. He had to part with his collection of books coming here since he didn't feel like bringing a lot of stuff with him, and the burdens of memories that came with those things. He wanted a clean slate. But, still, he knew the bookshelves would soon be filled up.

Presently he sat on the bed and removed his shoes, placing them at the foot of the bed. He stripped to only a pair of sweatpants and crawled under the covers. For a while he just stared at the ceiling; it was a strange feeling—not in the bed and the surrounding he were so used to, and knowing that he would never go back to that place ever again.

But he didn't care. All he cared right now was that he had survived another day. Tomorrow was another new step forward, and he would keep that in mind.

_(tbc)_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still unsure of how often/regular I'll update this. I think chapter 2 would be up in next week or so. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a good day.


	2. Traces of Yesterday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: (1)Hinted Ex-KakaSasu. I have to say it again, I don’t condone adults dating minors (for various reasons). However, this story is told from Sasuke’s perspective, and this relationship is something he needs to work on healing from. (2)Mention of self-harm. Proceed with caution.

To Sasuke’s amazement, it turned out to be a dreamless night. No nightmares plagued his mind. No need to worry about Obito breaking or tripping over something in the middle of the night was a big relief, too. Usually, their apartment in Oto was pretty restless during the night.

When it was morning again, Sasuke felt refreshed. Pushing aside the heavy curtains and staring at the faraway hills out of his window, Sasuke saw no trace of yesterday. 

All was good, at least for a moment.

.:. 

After putting on a white button-down shirt over a dark blue t-shirt and his black jeans, Sasuke left his new bedroom, headed downstairs, and entered the kitchen. 

Itachi was there, baking toasts and frying eggs. He was dressed similarly as yesterday—a simple wool jacket over a sweatshirt and a pair of khaki pants. Yesterday, when Sasuke first spotted Itachi at the airport, it was as if his older brother had not changed a bit over the years. Itachi had always worn that contemplating expression and cold, graceful posture, which used to annoy Sasuke to no end. But, to be honest, he had adopted those features from his brother as well. 

“Good morning, Sasuke,” Itachi said; he wasn't smiling, but his voice was gentle. 

“Morning,” Sasuke replied stiffly. This time, Itachi smiled. 

“I made breakfast.” 

“I see,” Sasuke glanced at the island. 

Itachi set a plate down on the island. “Why don’t you take a seat?” 

Sasuke sat down and grabbed a fork. 

“You didn’t have any luggage with you yesterday, despite the packback.” Itachi said. “Do you have anything else sent on the way?” 

“No,” Sasuke shook his head. 

Itachi looked slightly surprised. Sasuke bit his lip; he was smirking inwardly. He could tell that Itachi didn’t understand why he was here. The way Itachi’s eyes kept flickering at him was starting to irritate him. He could tell that those scrutinizing eyes on him were trying to pry into his business. And, no, he didn't like it at all. But he felt that he was winning, because he had succeeded at baffling Itachi Uchiha.

“You will be enrolling in Konoha High,” Itachi said. “It's a small school. It would be quite different from your last school.” 

“I'm not worried,” Sasuke said. 

“I see,” Itachi said, setting plates of bacon and eggs down. “I can drive you to school next Monday.” 

“You don't need to. I can walk down the road to catch a bus or something.” 

“I have to go to the workshop anyway. It’s not an inconvenience.” Itachi said. 

“All right.” 

“What do you want to do today?” Itachi asked, sitting down. When Sasuke didn’t reply, he said,  “ Let me see. We should go in town and get you some clothes and other supplies. And I can show you around the town." 

Sasuke glanced up from his plate. "Whatever's fine by me." 

.:.

The drive into town was short and quiet. The Uchiha brothers did not mind the silence, though. 

Itachi was still observing his brother. Sasuke's profile did not show emotion of any kind. Itachi decided that he had to accept  _ that _ for now. In fact, none of their family members had been talkative or spontaneous.  _ But Sasuke was too cold for his age _ , Itachi thought. And then he remembered bitterly the way he himself had been at Sasuke's age, and he couldn’t help but smiled. 

They saw the worn sign by the road with  _ 'Welcome to Konoha, population 48,173' _ . Sasuke emitted a thoughtful 'hmm' by Itachi's side. 

"What is it?"    
"Small town," Sasuke said. 

"Yeah, sure is," Itachi smiled. 

"Folks recognize each other in a small place like this." Sasuke's voice was dour. "And some of them probably have heard of the name of Uchiha."

"Yes, some of them do," Itachi said neutrally. “Some people remember it from the news.”

Sasuke, with a darkened face, raised his eyebrow as if asking “ _ and you're fine with it _ ?” 

Itachi noted Sasuke's questioning look.  _ So my foolish little brother is still bothered by the incident _ , he thought with an inward sigh.  _ He's a boy after all _ . Somehow, the thought brought him some peace of mind. 

.:. 

Itachi watched his little brother picking up books randomly and then set them back onto the shelves. They had already been to the clothes and the food department of the mall. Now they were at their last stop. 

"I've already got this," Itachi said when Sasuke picked up a hardcover. 

Sasuke put the book back. 

Itachi noted Sasuke's book selection. History. Science. Psychology. Philosophy. 

"You don't read novels?" Itachi asked, amused. 

"No," Sasuke said. "I don't read  _ fiction _ ,” he corrected. 

"You’ve certainly missed out a lot of good stuff," Itachi said. 

"I doubt that." Sasuke muttered.

"You used to be a fan of  _ The Lord Of The Rings _ when you're little."

"That was like when I was seven."

"You could even recite some of it."

"I said, that was when I was a kid."

"Sometimes, I think, when we grow up, it doesn't necessarily mean that the child part of us died."

Instantly he regretted it ( _ and he didn't usually do that _ ). Sasuke shot him a stern look..

"How do you know? Maybe for some of us, it did."

Then he walked away from Itachi.

.:.

They had lunch at the mall. The rest of the afternoon, Itachi drove Sasuke around the town. They cruised past the town hall, the Hokage square, and the history museum. They even went to Konoha High School so Sasuke could take a look at his new school. It was very small indeed. However, the school buildings were relatively new and well-designed.

Conversations were hard ever since they shopped at the bookstore. Itachi tried several times but it always ended up with Sasuke scowling. There was nothing Itachi could do about it. After all, the boy had lost his uncle, his guardian for the past eight years, just weeks ago. It was unlikely for Sasuke to open up in anytime soon even if it was to his own brother. Itachi shouldn't get his hopes too high.

.:. .:.

  
  


It was past twelve at night and Itachi knew that he should be sleeping, but he kept remembering his brother’s gloomy face. Instead of lying down, he got up and put on a robe over his sleepwear, heading towards Sasuke's room.

The room was at the end of the hallway, on the second floor as well as Itachi’s own bedroom. The mahogany door of Sasuke's room looked uninviting under the faint light. Itachi knocked. Twice.

"Come in." Sasuke said in an impassive tone.

Itachi opened the door. His younger brother was sitting in the armchair by the windows,  _ The Myth of Sisyphus _ in his hands.

Itachi instantly smiled. "I thought that you don't enjoy fiction."

"This isn't fiction."

"Or maybe I should say, a person who don't enjoy fiction finding the book interesting amuses me."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I suppose you didn't come to discuss my choice of books with me."

"No, I didn't."

"Then what do you want?" Sasuke’s tone wasn’t necessarily harsh, and it somehow encouraged Itachi.

"I'm just checking on you...as an older brother should."

"I hardly need your concern. I’m no child of eight."

"Is everything okay?"

"What do you mean?" Sasuke squinted.

Itachi didn’t push the question. Instead, "I’m going to make myself some hot tea, and since you're not sleeping yet...would you like some?" he asked.

Sasuke clutched his book, hesitating.

“C’mon, if you couldn’t sleep, this would certainly help you. I have fruit tea. No caffeine.”

“…I was about to sleep,” the younger boy muttered.

Itachi’s eyes darted to the bed, where the covers were messy—Sasuke had clearly been lying on bed, but somehow had gotten out of it a while ago.

“Your were about to sleep,” Itachi said softly. “And then you couldn’t, so you got up and picked a book to read.”

Sasuke frowned.

“I was right?” Itachi smiled.

“Sure,  _ sure _ ,” Sasuke retorted sarcastically.

“I was just…prone to notice details.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself. I will forgive you.”

Itachi quietly chuckled. He remembered that he always said ‘forgive me, Sasuke’ after upsetting his little brother when they were younger. And it seemed that Sasuke remembered that just as well. Maybe he should take this for a sign of improvement between him and Sasuke?

As he descended the staircase, Sasuke followed him.

“You couldn't sleep?” Sasuke suddenly asked.

“You can say that,” Itachi replied. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t true either. He could sleep, but he didn’t like the idea of leaving Sasuke alone and awake in his new bedroom reading heavy thoughts from some book. The boy had been through too much already, the last thing he needed now would be adding worries to his list.

“Do you always have insomnia, Sasuke?”

“…Not really,” Sasuke shrugged. “Just…sometimes…” He avoided Itachi’s gaze, and then added quickly, “Not that the room’s not nice.” It was a compliment.

“I washed all the bedsheets and cleaned the whole house thoroughly just before you arrived.” Itachi explained.

“Hm.”

“So, which one would you like? No caffeine, right? How about rose tea?” As soon as they were in the kitchen, Itachi opened a cabinet and took out the box where he kept all sorts of tea bags.

Surprisingly, Sasuke let out a chuckle.

“What?”

“Rose tea?” Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“What is it about rose tea? The flavor is relaxing.”

“Sure. What else do you have?”

“Mint, peach, raspberry?”

“Mint,” Sasuke said, and sat down by the island.

Itachi filled the kettle with water.

“So you often have guests around?” Sasuke asked. “Your tea options are...abundant.”

“Sometimes,” Itachi said, turning around to gaze at Sasuke. “My colleagues would come and discuss cases with me.”

“I thought you work alone.”

“I prefer to work alone, yes. But the workshop I work for values teamwork. And my colleagues aren’t that bad to work with.”

“What is it that you do again?”

“I’m an architect.”

“Oh. I thought you studied Psychology?”

“I had a Master’s degree in Psychology. But I also had an Architecture degree. How about you, Sasuke? Do you have in mind what would you like to do after you graduate?”

Sasuke grimaced. “...Everybody’s asking me this question back in my school in Oto.”

“Don’t let the question stress you.”

“I used to…” Sasuke began, then closed his mouth.

“What is it?”

“…Never mind.”

“You can tell me,” Itachi said very softly.

Sasuke hesitated. “…Used to want to work for the police department,” he said with a bitter smirk.

“…Just like father…”

“Yeah,” Sasuke agreed. “But not anymore. That was a long time ago.”

Itachi nodded and said nothing.

“It would be nice…” Sasuke muttered. “To just do what we like to do, right? Do you enjoy what you do, Itachi?”

“Yes, I think so,” Itachi answered after a brief moment of contemplation.

Sasuke returned to stare at his cup of tea, while Itachi still kept his eyes on the little brother. Sasuke was wearing an oversized sweatshirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The shirt was so big that it left part of Sasuke’s left shoulder exposed. The lights were faint in the kitchen, since they didn’t turn them all on. Itachi squinted.  _ Were those scars on Sasuke’s left forearm? And…was that another scar on his left shoulder? _

“Sasuke,” Itachi stepped forward.

Sasuke turned around, noting Itachi’s lingering gaze on his left shoulder. He pulled the collar of his shirt higher, concealing what looked like three commas forming a shape of circle in black ink.

“Is…”

“Just a tattoo,” Sasuke said wearily.

“When did you get it?”

“Back in Oto, about a year ago?”

Itachi couldn’t help but stared at his younger brother. It wasn’t like he wanted to scold his brother or anything; he wasn’t trying to be conservative, even though he was certain that Sasuke was too young to get a tattoo. It was just that…before yesterday, Sasuke was still this innocent boy in his memory, and now he was this teenager with a mask so hard and blank that it was difficult to decipher what was hidden behind it. If their parents were still alive, they would certainly be mad…they wouldn’t understand. However, it seemed that Uncle Obito was fine with it.

“Did Obito know about it?” Itachi frowned.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “C’mon, the man didn’t know where I was half of the time.”

The water boiled; the kettle screamed. Itachi turned off the heat of the stove. So Obito didn’t care much about Sasuke…his guesses were right. During the years, he only spent little time of his vacations with Sasuke and Obito, and that was only until Sasuke was thirteen, then Itachi went abroad for his studies. And they became estranged.

“I wasn’t going to scold you,” Itachi sighed, pouring the boiled water into the cups.

“Well, saves me the trouble,” Sasuke said with nonchalance.

Itachi placed the cup of mint tea before Sasuke, and sat down next to him.

“Why don’t you like fiction?” he tried to initiate another conversation.

“Why are you obsessed with that topic?” Sasuke snorted.

“…Because I’m curious?”

“Well, those aren’t real.”

“But you know, people write what they’ve experienced, and their belief and passion. Those  _ are _ real.”

“I don’t care about their experiences.”

“Then why philosophy? Some of them are products of thought processes. I think they count as experiences as well.”

“You’re annoying,” Sasuke closed his eyes.

“I wasn’t arguing with you. Just curious.”

“…Well, I just hate to read about other people’s lives.”

“Wouldn’t you think they’re similar?”

“Similar?”

“People’s lives. Your life. They might have something in common.”

“I have enough in my life to worry about. That’s what I know.”

.:. .:.

  
  


The rest of the weekend went by swiftly, except for one small incident. On Sunday afternoon, Sasuke went to the backyard to answer a phone call. Itachi didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it had gotten quite loud. In fact, Sasuke was almost yelling at the phone.

“ _ …Do I seem okay to you? I don’t understand where you got that impression from… _ .”

Itachi frowned at Sasuke’s words. He was in his study, and through the window, which directly faced the backyard, he could see his little brother walking around in anxious pace without a jacket—he must have gone out in a hurry—and hear almost the entirety of the conversation. Why did he have to go out to answer that call? Certainly he didn’t want Itachi to hear the contents.

“ _ …Kakashi, if you don’t think this’ll work, then you should stop bothering me. _ ”

There was a name. Kakashi. Was that a man? Was it Sasuke’s friend?

“ _...I thought you wanted to cut ties with me? Now you’re worrying about me? Don’t you think that’s a bit hypocritical? _ ”

Itachi watched his little brother clutch the phone tightly in one hand, the other hand on his chest as he let out a heavy sigh.

The argument almost sounded like one between a couple.

Maybe it was.

The furrow between Itachi’s brows deepened.

“ _ …Sounds like you’re the one who needs comfort, not me, _ ” Sasuke said in a cold, even voice, but his arms are shaking slightly. “ _ …maybe, Kakashi. Gotta go _ .”

He hung up, and then, suddenly, crouched down. Itachi straightened up, concerned. Sasuke held his knees close to his chest, still shivering…from cold? Or from…

Itachi couldn’t know, because Sasuke walk towards the back gate of the yard. Soon, he was out of Itachi’s sight. The elder brother felt his chest tightened. There was nothing but a forest around the backyard.  _ Where does he think he’s going? _

But Sasuke was sixteen, not thirteen, and most certainly not  _ eight _ . He could find his way back to the house on his own.

There was nothing Itachi could do.

So he sighed and sat down again. Staring at the blueprint on his desk, Itachi felt his thoughts hang heavily in his head. Building a house was easy; building a relationship, on the other hand, was not. He was glad that Sasuke was back…by his side. But it seemed that Sasuke had brought troubles along with him as well.

_ (tbc) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys. Naruto enters in the next chapter.


	3. Snakes and Hidden Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad that some of you read this fic when it was posted on FanFiction and now find it here again on AO3. I'm also sorry that it was only updated to the fourth chapter. I'm trying to finish it this time around to give it a closure, which I also personally need as well. Anyways, enjoy :)

Sasuke stood before the mirror in his new bedroom wardrobe, adjusting the blue-and-yellow striped tie around his collar. What kind of school still required their students to wear such old-fashioned uniform nowadays? Apparently, this was one of the _traditions_ the school held on to that Itachi had told him about. Fortunately, Sasuke had his uniform customized for him, so they fit him more than just well. He hated it when the uniform looked baggy on a person. In manga, schoolwear always looked good and dashing, but not in real life. In reality, they felt more like a confinement for individuality.

His phone vibrated on the nightstand. Sasuke put on his midnight blue school jacket. Sighing, he picked up the phone from his bedside table.

A message.

_Morning, Sasuke. Sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have called. But you should know that I'm just worried about you. You never said anything before you left, I was surprised is all._ _  
_ _K_

And another message from earlier yesterday that Sasuke hadn't bothered to check. It was from Orochimaru.

_Sasuke dear, how are you? How's Konoha? Boring little place with fresh air? Fresh air and mountains are probably the only things Oto can't provide. Lucky you. Me and Kabuto miss you very much. Happy reuniting with your elder brother Itachi? Oh, I'm interested in him. Write me back when you have free time. Sincerely yours, Orochimaru_

Sasuke snorted. " _Sincerely_ my ass." He deleted the message right away. Hesitating for a moment, he deleted Kakashi's as well.

.:.

Sasuke’s face looked particularly tensed today.

Itachi regarded his little brother’s profile as the latter settled down in the seat next to him in car.

“It’s just high school,” Itachi said gently, turning the wheels. The house soon disappeared from their sight.

“It’s worse. It’s the _first_ day. Not to mention, it’s in the middle of the term.”

“Oh? You hate those _‘introduce yourself, Mr. Uchiha’_ kind of things?” Itachi raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

“ _’Tell us about the town you’re from’_?”

“And those, too.”

“You have the right to remain silent, you know.”

“And they will think I’m weird. Thanks.”

Itachi smirked. “You’re worried that people would think you’re weird?”

“Yeah, it’s every teenager’s nightmare. Don’t you think so?”

Itachi chuckled. He didn’t know if Sasuke was really worried about it, or was just being sarcastic, or maybe both. Either way, he was amused.

“Be yourself, then.”

“Wow, you sound like those inspiring speech from graduation ceremony.”

Itachi was about to nod and agree when he recalled the only graduation ceremony he had ever been to and, for an instant, his wits were almost strained.

_He was thirteen. The rain was pouring. He—the honors student—had just given a speech on the commencement ceremony…_

_Waiting in the rain, Itachi knew that something was wrong, because his parents and cousin hadn’t showed up among the audience back in the auditorium. Itachi gazed up at the darkened sky, feeling vulnerable as an icy fear wallowing in his stomach—_

  
  


“…Were you able to _be yourself_ when you’re in high school?” Sasuke was asking in an interrogating way.

Itachi blinked. The memory vanished like clearing smoke. Good, because he didn’t want to think about it right now.

Itachi Uchiha? Being _himself_? In this world? In this era?

“No, I don’t think so,” Itachi smiled slightly.

Sasuke glanced at him suspiciously.

“It’s true, Sasuke. But it doesn’t mean that you have to do the same.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Sasuke pouted. “Your opinion doesn’t mean much to me.”

This time, Itachi laughed genuinely.

“What?” Sasuke growled.

“…Nothing.”

“Did I say something funny?”

“No.” Itachi kept the smile on his face. “But seriously, Sasuke, wind down a bit. It can be frustrating to you since you might be somewhat mature for your age, but it doesn’t mean that you need to force yourself to become what you are not.”

“Thanks, Mr. Imsosmart.”

“You’re welcome, my foolish little brother.”

Sasuke appeared to be scowling again. But from the corner of his eyes, Itachi saw that Sasuke had a faint smirk on his lips.

.:.

Sasuke first went to the staff’s lounge to meet his homeroom teacher, Yamato, a man in his mid-thirties with queer-looking eyes that looked like he was constantly staring. Yamato was drinking coffee and reading news on his phone on a recliner leisurely.

“Ah, you must be Sasuke.” He showed a candid smile. “It’s homeroom period right now, I want to introduce you to the class. Are you ready?”

Sasuke didn’t know what to reply. “Hn, yes?”

Yamato gulped down the remaining coffee in his mug. “Let’s go. The classroom is just down the hallway.”

“Where’s the teachers’ office?” Sasuke asked.

“Oh, we don’t have such place. This is our office—if you insist on calling it an office. If I’m not teaching a class, I’m usually here, so are the other teachers.”

Sasuke glanced around, but the room was empty besides him and Yamato, and a bunch of worn couches and tables with mugs on them. The man stood up and grabbed an old leather suitcase. “Shall we go?”

So he followed Yamato to the hallway.

“You came from Oto, right?” Yamato asked. “It’s a big city, huh? I used to live there, for about…three years, to pursue the career of acting.”

Acting? This man? Sasuke glanced at him doubtfully.

Yamato laughed. “Is it so hard to believe me? Yeah, it’s true. I was born and raised in Konoha, just like most of our students…but it won’t hurt for a young man to dream, right? I never regret my little adventure.”

They arrived at the doorway of a classroom. Itachi was right. He needed to wind down.

But he really hated it.

Yamato had already stepped into the room. Reluctantly, Sasuke followed.

To his relief, the class was small, about half the size of the ones back at his old high school. There were about twenty students…no, he didn’t think there were even twenty, maybe seventeen? Eighteen?

“Morning, class,” Yamato greeted the students. Some of them were sitting together in small groups, chatting, while some of them were reading or doing assignments in their own seats. But they all looked up when they heard Yamato. When their gaze fell upon Sasuke, low murmurs erupted.

“This is the boy I told you about, guys,” Yamato said. “Sasuke, could you please introduce yourself?”

 _Here came the part he hated the most._ Sasuke took a deep breath, his face still perfectly placid.

“I’m Sasuke Uchiha,” he said. The class’s chatter died down into silence. “I came from Oto.”

The students were still quiet, as if still waiting for him to say something else.

“…That’s all I have to say,” Sasuke glanced at Yamato.

“Tell us more about yourself, Sasuke,” Yamato said, looking expectant. “What is Oto like? And which subject you enjoy the most? What do you usually do on your free time?”

Sasuke couldn’t understand why people insisted on knowing these useless facts about himself, but he guessed he had no choice but to answer them. He sighed inwardly.

“Oto has one of the highest crime rate in the country. It’s densely populated, a sharp contrast to Konoha.” he deadpanned. “I don’t think there’s a subject I particularly enjoy. I usually do a bit reading on my free time. And working out.”

Yamato still hadn’t given up. “Oh, really? Konoha High has an emphasis on physical education. I have a feeling you will love it here. What kind of sports do you usually do?”

 _Tell them something unfamiliar and maybe they will lose interest in me._ “Um, I enjoy Japanese martial arts. I practiced several kinds of them when I was a child.”

Great, Yamato looked lost.

“So, uh, do you guys have any questions for Sasuke?”

A girl in the front row raised her hand.

“Why did you move to Konoha, Sasuke?” she asked.

Yamato and Sasuke exchanged a look. The teacher knew the reason why Sasuke was here, because Itachi had told him when he was going through the transfer formalities.

“Sasuke moved into town due to some family matters,” Yamato forced out a smile. “Now…I have other things to announce, so…Sasuke, take a seat, please.”

Sasuke heaved out a sigh, finally.

.:.

The high school only had two buildings of about five floors. And every student and staff seemed to know each other. Sasuke could tell that wherever he went, everyone recognized him as the new student (or would _the new boy in town_ be more proper?). This wasn’t good. But it was the first day, and the worst day. Everything would surely get better, right?

“I’m looking for Classroom 301, do you know where it is?”

Sasuke tapped the shoulder of a blond boy who was passing by. He had already looked through every sign on the third floor, but there was no 301. Strange.

The student turned. “301? Oh, it’s outside. 'S on the patio."

There was, indeed, an inner courtyard on the third floor, which Sasuke hadn't checked.

"Ah," Sasuke nodded as a grateful gesture.

"Art?" The boy who answered Sasuke's question suddenly asked.

"...What?"

"Your next period is Art, right?" The boy said. "Me too."

Sasuke nodded.

The boy grinned. "I remember now, you're the new student. What's your name again?"

"Sasuke."

"Hi, Sasuke," he winked. ( _Man, do people still do that these days?_ ) "I'm Naruto."

Naruto extended a hand as if expecting a handshake. Sasuke stared at it.

"I wash my hand about three periods ago," Naruto said. "If that's what you're worrying about."

"Good," Sasuke simply said, and went past him toward the terrace.

"Hey!" He could hear Naruto calling behind his back. "We can walk together!"

"It's only three steps away," Sasuke replied.

When he felt Naruto catching up on him, he shot him an unwelcoming look.

“How come you sound like you know much better than me when you're the new guy here? And you just asked me for direction! You didn’t even say ‘thank you’!” Naruto exclaimed, trotting stubbornly beside him.

Sasuke intended to ignore the boy, but the latter didn't seem to mind.

The bell rang. So they started to jog toward the classroom.

301 was an oval chamber with a giant ceiling window that allowed the classroom to shimmer under sunlight—when it was a sunny day, of course; and today happened to be one.

When Sasuke and Naruto entered the classroom, most of the seats were occupied. There were about five oval table; each of them was surrounded by four to five chairs. Sasuke had no choice but to take a seat next to Naruto in the back corner of the room. The teacher hadn't arrived yet.

"Teacher Kurenai said she will be late!" A pink-haired girl, who seemed like a class president, suddenly declared. "For about half an hour. She has a emergent meeting to attend."

After the announcement, the classroom were filled with chatter again.

There were two other boys at their table: a lazy-looking guy with a high ponytail and another chubby boy that seemed like his friend.

"Hey, Shikamaru, Choji," Naruto greeted the two boys and tossed his backpack down the floor in a careless manner. Sasuke glanced down at the orange book bag, feeling slightly sorry for it. He hung his navy blue bag on the back of his chair, along with his jacket.

"Hi, Naruto," the chubby boy, Choji, smiled amiably. "Do you have your assignment with you?"

"What? Assignment?" Naruto sounded surprised. "Darn it, I forgot."

"Guessed so," Choji laughed.

"What is it about?" Naruto frowned. "Maybe I can do something about it."

"You have to finish it with your partner," Choji said. "Do you have a partner?"

Naruto gaped. "...No. Now I remember why I can't recall anything about the assignment. I skipped the class last week."

Shikamaru, who hadn't said anything since they sat down, sighed. "You're naught but trouble, Naruto."

"Um, thanks?" Naruto frowned. "Guys, you gotta help me out. Tell me what I should do!"

"What do I have in return?" Choji asked.

"I'll treat you to all-you-can-eat barbecue!"

"Okay, then," Choji grinned. "First, you find yourself a partner. And then you two tell each other a dream you had. Based on your dreams, you complete an illustration. Like this."

Choji showed Naruto an A4 paper with what seemed like clouds and potato chips painted on it. "This is Shikamaru and I’s dreams."

"I bet I can finish one like that right now," Naruto said.

"But you gotta have a partner first," Choji said. "And all of us had our partners already. Good luck with that."

Sasuke had been listening to their conversation absentmindedly. And before he realized what was happening, Naruto turned to him.

"Would you be my partner, Sasuke?" He looked at the dark-haired boy expectantly.

Sasuke suddenly noticed that Naruto had very blue, _blue_ eyes.

"Please?" Naruto added, his eyes glowing.

Sasuke didn't know how to react. Honestly, he didn't want to be Naruto's partner, and he didn't like the idea of sharing his dream with a boy he barely knew.

But Naruto's _azure_ eyes—the word _azure_ popped up out of nowhere in Sasuke's brain—were glimmering. Sasuke didn't know how to say _no_ to them.

"...Okay," he uttered.

Naruto let out a cheer of joy and put an arm around Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke jumped and, reluctantly, didn’t shove him away, which Naruto didn't seem to notice.

"Alright, let's get on with it," Naruto said, pulling out a notebook (which, Sasuke noted, was orange; _just how much did the boy love that godforsaken color?_ ) and tearing a page off. He put the sheet of paper on the tabletop between him and Sasuke.

"I'll go first," Naruto volunteered. "I had this dream last Friday. I was knocking on a door, but nobody answered it. So I walked around the house and I realized, gee, it's my old home, where I used to live with my parents. And then I peeked from a window, and I saw my mom, and my dad, and...there was me, too. Not _me_ , but...it’s a younger version of me. And I couldn't believe my eyes. And I when I started to yell and knock on the door kinda violently."

Sasuke watched the blond boy's profile as he narrated his dream. Despite the fact that the boy seemed to have everything about him orange, Sasuke had to admit that orange _did_ suit him, after all. It must be his healthy, tan skin and so very blond hair.

"...Finally the door opened. It was my mom who answered it. She looked at me as if she didn't recognized me, like I was a thug or something. And then it occurred to me that she didn't recognize me because I grew up. So she had never seen me before."

Sasuke squinted. Naruto glanced at him.

"My parents died when I was six years old," Naruto explained.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke muttered stiffly.

"It's alright," Naruto said, nodding. "I live with my stepdad now. I'm happy that I'm not alone, which sucks. I should finish my dream. So...I tried to explain it to my mom, but she wouldn't listen. And she shut the door in my face. I didn't give up, though. Somehow, I found a bat in the yard—don’t ask me why, dreams are weird. I guess my dad played baseball or somethin’ when he had free time? It was a long time ago—and I tried to destroy the door, but it was like it's made of steel or somethin’. I started to shout really loudly...and woke up."

Sasuke stared at him quietly. Should he make a comment of some sort? It sounded like a bad dream, filled with unnecessary details.

"A nightmare?" He asked.

"Well...I don't know," Naruto shrugged. "Mostly I have pleasant dreams, but I can't seem to remember anything about them except that they were good. I remember nightmares better. But yeah, once I wake up, I’m fine. So don’t worry about me." He smiled.

"Oh."

"Your turn," Naruto gazed at him. The fact that Naruto didn't seem disturbed when talking about his deceased parents and nightmares made Sasuke a bit impressed.

"Hm. I can't really think of anything..."

"C'mon, I finished my part. It's your turn now," Naruto grinned. "Tell me one of your dreams. Anything’ll do."

Sasuke tried hard to remember his dreams. But it was difficult. He had a lot of bad dreams lately, and he fought to forget every one of them.

But there must be something...something he still remembered...

"...There..." he began. "There was this dream...in the dream I had two iron boxes under my bed. I don't know how I came to know about them, I just did. I opened the boxes, in which I found snakes. There were snakes crawling in those boxes, under my mattress, the very place I slept."

Naruto looked at him with his eyes wide open, as if he was listening to some ghost story. Sasuke couldn't help but find the other boy's expression sort of comical.

"...It's a dream," he gently reminded Naruto.

"I know," the latter said. "But it's creepy."

"Let me continue, would you?" Sasuke said. "I picked up a knife and started to cut the snakes..." He halted, side-glancing at Naruto.

The blond boy was frowning, but he didn't look like he was going to interrupt.

So Sasuke went on. "I cut the snakes into pieces, and hid them under my mattress like before. And I still slept on the bed afterwards. The end."

Naruto still had his brow furrowed.

"What?" Sasuke asked. "Grossed out?"

Naruto blinked.

"No," the blond boy said. "Actually, I might have heard something similar to your dream. Something Kurenai said. Kurenai, the Art teacher? She's into dreams and subconsciousness and stuff like that, y'know."

"So, you have a theory of what my repulsive dream could mean?" Sasuke propped up his cheek with his right fist, facing Naruto directly.

"No, I'm not that good. I wasn’t even here for the last class," Naruto said. "But I bet a dream like that could mean something. Maybe it's a key to your current problems."

Sasuke felt himself raising an eyebrow. "Yeah?" _How could Naruto know what kind of problems he had? If he didn't know, he was too arrogant to assume so, wasn't he?_ He knew that he shouldn't be so easily affected, but Naruto just stepped on a landmine.

"Probably," Naruto said, completely oblivious of Sasuke's rising anger.

"Now that we got every detail of our hidden desires, finish that stupid assignment you so desperately need," Sasuke said, pushing the paper toward Naruto.

Naruto looked at him, confused. "Okay. Thank you?"

Sasuke glanced at the doorway. _Why hasn't the teacher come?_ What kind of school was this? Forcing students to discuss private matters and draw idiotic illustrations like grade school kids. Couldn't they just teach student the history of modern art or Impressionism or stuff like that just like his old high school did? He only wished the teacher could come and started the lecture already, so he didn't have to talk to Naruto anymore. He really wanted to get rid of any unwanted attention, and finish his day in peace... He regretted that he told Naruto his dream; he should have just made something up, something like...having sex with a cute girl, et cetera. Yeah, that sounded really dumb, but that sounded like a normal, horny teenager, right? At least it was nothing close to his snake-cutting, shitty, perverted dreams. Maybe his hidden desire was killing and cutting corpses into pieces. Very well.

"I want to draw a house here," Naruto suddenly turned towards him, pointing the upper part of the sheet. "But man, I don't know how to draw a house."

Sasuke glared at the paper, now with some very childish drawing on it. Naruto already drawn some snakes, which...were sliced into pieces. And he even drew eyes and dapples on the snakes. There was a bed on top of the broken snakes, and above that was blank space.

Sasuke snatched the pencil away from Naruto's hand, noting how their skin tone contrasted with one another ( _Naruto's tan hand with visible joints, and Sasuke's own pale one with long fingers_ ). He started to draw the outline a house.

"Whoa." Naruto sounded impressed. "You _know_ how to draw. My friend Sai will be shook."

"Not really," Sasuke said with annoyance. "It's only better than your stupid doodle."

Naruto glared.

"There you go," Sasuke threw the pencil back at Naruto, and pushed the paper away. "It's done."

"You're kind of rude," Naruto said thoughtfully, nodding to himself.

"Beg your pardon?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"I was about to thank you for sharing your dream with me," Naruto said. "Obviously it's kind of difficult for you, since you think it's all gory and disgusting. And then you got all stuck-up and annoying. Seriously, what's wrong with you?"

Sasuke gaped. "Me? _Annoying?_ "

He had never been called _annoying_ before... _it was always the other way around_.

And then a woman with curly hair walked into the classroom. It was the teacher.

Good...he didn't need to deal with Naruto anymore.

.:. .:.

  
  


Washing his hands in the bathroom, Sasuke could still hear Naruto’s voice inside his head.

_...Seriously, what's wrong with you?_

Could the boy named Naruto really be that sharp?

Had he perceived Sasuke's _wretchedness_ already?

No, Sasuke didn't think so. Who was this Naruto anyway? He was just another—Sasuke thought harshly— _weird_ boy who seemed to open up easily to strangers. It was Naruto who was being abnormal, not Sasuke. Whatever. Maybe both of them were weird. Anyway...Sasuke couldn't care less.

But that _stung_.

_What's wrong with you?_

"Sasuke?" Itachi was calling him. "Dinner's ready."

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

_(tbc)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I really appreciate your comments! <3


	4. It's Not About Fiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I'm so incredibly sorry that I slowed down posting. Again. On chapter 3 NO LESS (it's like the last time...ugh). I'm caught up in part-time work and getting ready for grad school. So...I apologize again for the slow update.

_ Sasuke’s bedroom was silent and dark. It was past sunset, but the lights were not on. The only source of light came from the dimly lit hallway. Unlike usual, the toys were put away in a cabinet in the corner of the room. Without the toys, Sasuke’s room didn’t look like that of an eight-year-old’s. It was too big and too empty. _

_ Itachi gazed down at his little brother, who was curling into a small ball on the bed. It was still too early for bedtime, but Sasuke didn’t look like he was sleeping, either. He had his shoes on and the blanket was on the floor. _

_ “…What do you mean they’re not coming home?” _

_ Sasuke asked almost inaudibly. _

_ Itachi stood rooted to the ground, still staring at Sasuke. He didn't like the way his brother’s huge black eyes lost their usual brightness, nor the way the younger boy tried to avoid eye contact with him. _

_ “…There was an…an accident,” Itachi fought with the right words. Never in his life had he felt so hard to express himself. Sasuke was usually the one that he didn’t need to conceal his feelings and intentions from, because they had an unbreakable bond—at least, that was what he thought. _

_ “Accident…?” Sasuke repeated. _

_ Itachi felt as if his heart was being ripped apart. He wished he could escape this room. He wished he never had to say these things to Sasuke. But if he didn't do it, who would then? He didn't trust the others. _

_ But he didn't trust himself this time, either. _

_ “Yeah…” He mumbled feebly. “Mother and father…they…something happened when they were…” _

_ “ _ They died _ ,” Sasuke said in a cold voice, his face blank and almost lifeless. “Didn't they?” _

_ Itachi wanted to grabbed Sasuke’s shoulder and shook him hard.  _ What did you do to my brother?  _ He wanted to yell at Sasuke’s face, because this boy with his voice cold as ice was nothing like the sweet, curious kid Itachi used to know. _

_ Sasuke suddenly stared at him. _

_ “I'll never see them again, right?” He asked. _

_ Itachi nodded hesitantly. _

_ “That's all I need to know,” Sasuke turned around so his back was against him. _

_ Itachi could only stare. His brother looked so frail on the bed. _

_ He didn't know how to tell Sasuke that it  _ wasn't an accident _. _

_ But he knew that he had lost the chance. _

.:.

Itachi made spaghetti tonight. Spaghetti with homemade Bolognese sauce. He was confident that Sasuke would like it. Itachi didn’t mind eating tomato every other night anyway.

Itachi thought he heard something. Glancing down at the kitchen table, he saw that it was Sasuke’s phone. His brother had gone to the bathroom, leaving his cell phone right on the table.

A message popped up on the screen. Itachi didn’t mean to pry, but he already saw it.

_ Sasuke, I just went to Obito’s apartment. You didn’t bring your meds with you. Could you write me back? _

_ K _

Itachi frowned.  _ Medication? _ And why did this person ( _ Does K stand for Kakashi—the person that called the other day? _ ) have the access to Obito’s apartment?

“Sasuke,” he called. “Dinner’s ready.”

Pretending he had never seen the message was probably for the best.

A moment later, Sasuke entered the dining area. He had already discarded the uniform, and was now dressed in a plain black sweater and a pair of jeans.

Sasuke picked up his phone from the table and shoved it into his pocket. He sat down, pulling one of the plates near him. Seeing that Itachi didn’t move nor sit down, he glanced at his brother with a frown.

“Aren't you going to eat?” He asked.

Itachi gazed back at him. “…Yeah, sure.”

_ Medication. _

“Sasuke,” Itachi hesitated. “…I’m wondering if there’s anything you’re allergic to? That you can’t eat?”

“Why?” Sasuke asked a little suspiciously.

“I need to make sure since I’m cooking all our meals.”

“There’s nothing I can’t eat. Just no  _ natto  _ and sweets.”

_ But you used to love the cookies mom baked us,  _ Itachi said inwardly.

He had asked the question because he knew that, sometimes, while on medication, patients weren't supposed to eat certain kinds of food. He had thought that maybe Sasuke would reveal something about the  _ medication _ the message had mentioned. But…

Sasuke was wary.

The atmosphere became heavy after Itachi posed the question. But he didn't regret it. If Sasuke was on something, or had some kind of sickness that he didn't know about...

"How's your first day in school?" He asked.

"Nothing fantastic," Sasuke replied.

"Did you introduce yourself properly?"

"I don't think so. Aren't you the one who told me I should just  _ be myself _ ?" Sasuke said sarcastically.

"And? Were you able to?" Itachi curled the spaghetti around his fork elegantly.

Sasuke shrugged. "I just wanted them to shut up and stop asking me questions," he said gloomily.

"What kind of questions did they ask you?"

"Insensitive ones. And boring."

"Well, they are sixteen."

"Some girl asked me out," Sasuke sneered.

Itachi chuckled. "And you rejected her?"

"It’s only reasonable."

"Why didn't you give her a chance?"

"Why should I? We barely know each other."

"You will get to know her, gradually."

"I have better things to do."

"Like...?"

"Lie on my bed and do nothing," Sasuke said wryly.

"Sounds nice, Sasuke."

"Would you date her? Given my position," Sasuke asked, arching an eyebrow.

Itachi shook his head.

"You're weird," Sasuke smirked.

"Well, I'm your brother, Sasuke."

"Sounds like a good enough reason."

Itachi watched his little brother shrug again. He smiled.

"You don't like girls."

Sasuke stared at him. "Maybe? At least then I’ll have a preference, unlike you."

"You are mocking my sexuality?"

"Do you even have one?"

Itachi shook his head with a smile. “And here I thought you’re mature for your age.”

.:.

After dinner, Itachi went to finish some side project he had started earlier that afternoon. When he reemerged from his study, he found Sasuke in the living room, lazily watching Lars von Trier's  _ Dogville _ on DVD.

"I thought you despise fiction," Itachi sat down beside his little brother on the sofa.

"Let it slide, Itachi. I don't  _ despise _ it. I just  _ prefer _ non-fiction."

"That's not what you told me...last time."

"Is it really that important to you?"

"No, obviously. I was just teasing you," Itachi said passively. 

Sasuke shot him a look, and Itachi snickered.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke asked, irritated.

"Is it wrong to find my little brother adorable?"

Sasuke snorted.

"Why did you pick this movie, though?" Itachi asked.

"Because I'm tired and I want to relax, by watching people pretend to be happy, hurt, and in despair."

"That doesn't sound right."

"I know. And it's not my first time hearing that comment."

"So, are you enjoying the show?"

Sasuke nodded languidly. "Yeah, so far. Your DVD collections are impressive, I gotta say."

"Thank you for your compliment."

"...If you ever become a serial killer, those things would be on the evidence list of your motivation, you know? ‘ _ A single, cynical young man who has aspired to debunk goodness in humanity’ _ ."

"Again, thanks."

Sasuke chuckled darkly.

"You're welcome to access my private blu-ray collection."

"That wouldn't be...necessary, since I take you for an asexual," Sasuke mocked.

"I'm not going to lend you pornography, Sasuke. Not that I have any."

"I'm not even gonna imagine what kind of porn you indulge yourself in..." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Even if I'm really asexual, you're very rude."

They watched the TV in silence for a moment.

"I don’t feel grief," Sasuke said suddenly.

Itachi glanced at him.

"Death always catches up with people in most unexpected ways," Itachi muttered.  _ Like mom and dad. _ “Sometimes we are not prepared to feel grief.”

“Nor loss. No nothing.” Sasuke said lowly, as he watched the gangsters kill all the villagers and burn down Dogville on the screen. 

"You don't have to—"

"I don't have to feel anything?"

"Perhaps."

"It's not like with dad and mom," Sasuke said. "I..." He stopped, furrowing his brows.

Itachi waited for him to finish; but Sasuke became quiet.

They didn't speak for minutes, just watched the film, and lost in their own thoughts. Soon, joyous music erupted as the movie came to an end. The credits started to roll, and Itachi turned to his brother to find a scowl on his face.

"Why did they have to use such flamboyant song on such a tragic play? I mean, it's good, but it's kind of disturbing."

"I believe it's what people call  _ irony _ , little brother," Itachi smiled. "And yes, I think they intended to disturb you the whole time you're watching it. That's why I like this film.”

Sasuke eyed him with a blank expression.

"You need more comedies in your life, my foolish little brother," Itachi said gently. "As Hesse put it, ‘Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.’"

"You mean I should model my life after yours?" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow. "Which I totally agree. What a farce."

"I was not joking."

"Says the man who said we need more jokes in our lives."

"After all, we live together now, Sasuke. Don't you think that's very comical?"

Itachi gazed warmly at his younger brother. Sasuke sniggered.

"Yeah. When I was thirteen, I used to want to kill you," Sasuke said with a subtle, distant smile. "I would go to sleep with a knife under my pillow. And before I fell asleep, I always imagine stabbing you to death. Man, those days. You have no idea."

Itachi laughed heartily. He knew that Sasuke used to hate him, but to hear it from Sasuke's mouth...

"Why are you laughing?" Sasuke wasn’t pleased at his elder brother's response. "Yeah, 'cause you always find them funny. Everything's perhaps a joke to you?"

"Yes. But no." Itachi stopped himself. "It's just that...I've never heard you say anything about it before. Your frankness... I guess I'm just amused."

"You want more gruesome details?" Sasuke asked mockingly.

"Indulge me?"

"I came up with several scenarios in which I hunt you down and kill you; sometimes you would survive and escape, and then I have to track you down again. And I wouldn't use a gun. There was always torture before the final blow. I remember I even wrote a short story about my adventures to kill you and turned it in for an English assignment. My teacher was quite shocked. She even sent me to talk to the school counselor."

"Poor soul. Did you do it on purpose?"

"Of course not. I was just in need of a story when I was suddenly struck with the idea. You know I dislike fiction, but if you are to die in that story...hmm..."

"Foolish."

"Stop calling me foolish."

"Why did you choose to come here?" Itachi suddenly asked. Maybe it was because Sasuke was finally opening up a little bit more. Maybe their banter was a tad too familiar and they both lost their cool. Maybe—

Sasuke looked surprised. "What?"

"You chose to come live with me when you could have stayed in Oto."

"Because I don't want to live with some relative I hardly know about."

"But you hate me."

Sasuke stared.

Itachi looked back at him.

"...I  _ hated  _ you," the younger boy finally said in a small, but clear voice. "But not anymore."

"Why?"

Sasuke sighed and stood up, turning away.

"It's not gonna bring them back," he said slowly. "My hatred. It's not going to save mom and dad, nor you and me."

Itachi watched Sasuke walk towards the door.

"We're on our own now," the boy said, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

.:..:.

  
  


Sasuke had thought about it.

He had thought that...maybe, just maybe.

Maybe he was wrong.

He knew that he was short-tempered and moody, like a lonely old man (or a teenage boy without a boy/girlfriend or  _ just friend in genera _ l).

But he shouldn't have spoken to Naruto like that.

Naruto? The blond boy with blue,  _ blue _ eyes.

But in his mind, Naruto's face and words kept replaying.

_ Maybe it's a key to your current problems. _

_...Seriously, what's wrong with you? _

Naruto assumed that he, Sasuke, had problems. Was Sasuke wrong at finding it insulting?

Sasuke shifted uneasily in his chair.

It was noon. The bell had just rung.

Sasuke got up, sweeping all the stuff on the table into his backpack, and followed other students out of the classroom.

There were still many people ogling him on the hallway, in the classroom, and, well, basically  _ everywhere _ he went. Sometimes a random student would come up to him, asking questions out of curiosity, but he guessed that his aloofness kept them away.

He almost felt sorry for them, even. But he didn't think that he could change his attitude towards them. His words meant nothing to them anyway. They would soon forget about him, because he didn't really matter. What he was now was just something fresh and temporary. He wouldn't stay in their attention span forever. So, why bother? After all, he only cared about himself. And really, people should only care about themselves.

He went to the school cafeteria and found a quiet corner, so he could eat his lunch alone and in peace.

To his dismay, the dining area was soon filled up with students that just got out of their classes. Most tables were occupied by groups, so sharing tables became the only option.

"Can I sit here?" An unfamiliar voice asked in a smooth, airy tone.

Sasuke glanced up. It was a boy with weird bluish-white hair, a tray in his hands. He was looking at Sasuke with a look as if he was going to sit across him no matter what Sasuke said. The boy wasn't wearing a jacket; his collar and tie were also loose.

"It's not occupied," Sasuke replied, continued to eat his lunch.

"I'll take the seats," the boy said, and turned around. "Karin! Juugo! Here!"

Shortly, there were two other kids joining him—a red-haired girl with glasses, and a tall, burly boy with untamed hair.

“Karin, I need to copy your algebra answers,” the white haired boy said to the girl.

“Yeah? And you are asking me now? Like I’ll give ‘em to you,” the glasses girl said. “Apologize first. And beg.”

“C’mon, I didn’t mean to point it out that your new hairstyle is terrible. And you know I’m right! It’s  _ uneven _ ! Did you cut them yourself?”

“That’s not an apology!” Glasses girl barked furiously.

“I will smile and tell you you’re gorgeous, will you forgive me and let me copy your assignment now?”

“Suigetsu!”

“Alright! Alright! Sorry, Karin. Your hair is fine. I’m sure that all the boys in the school will be dazed.”

“Now we’re talkin’,” Karin snorted.

Sasuke thought that she stole a glance at him.

“Juugo, when’s the first game?” Suigetsu asked absentmindedly.

The tall boy finally spoken, “The basketball game? It’s a week before Christmas.”

“Oh, where will it be? Suna High School?”

“Yeah. It’ll be in their gym.”

“I think I’ll come, if I can find myself a date.”

“Isn’t watching Juugo play more important than your date?” Karin frowned.

“It depends. But Juugo won’t mind. Right, Juugo?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Juugo said.

“See?” Suigetsu grinned, showing his small, sharp teeth.

Juugo stood up, “I need to catch my next class now.”

“Now? There’re still plenty of time,” Karin said. “And you finished your lunch?”

Juugo looked at his empty plate and bowl, and shrugged. “I haven’t finish my paper yet.”

He left with his tray.

“You should learn from him,” Karin spat, glaring at Suigetsu. “All you know is copy answers off other people’s notebook.”

“The swimming team’s training has started,” Suigetsu said. “Every night I go home completely drained-out. You can’t expect me to study in that state. Cruel, Karin. You’re so cruel.”

“Come on, you just stare at other boys’ crotches the whole time during your so-called training.” Karin rolled her eyes.

“You’ll do the same thing if you’re in my position,” Suigetsu argued with an impish smirk.

“I won’t.”

“Liar.”

“Your cousin.”

Karin frowned. “What about him?”

“He signed up for the swimming team last week.”

“You’re still taking people in?”

“Our coach is very impressed with his athletic performance.”

“So he was granted with special treatment?”

“Not exactly,” Suigetsu said. “But that’s not the point. The point is.”

“What? You should just finish your sentence.”

“He. Is. Hot.”

“He’s my cousin, no matter how distant,” Karin shook her head.

“I mean…his abs…”

“Suigetsu, I don’t want to have this conversation with you! If you’re gonna talk about Naruto’s anatomy with me the whole time I eat…”

Sasuke didn’t mean to overhear, but they were just sitting beside him—it was hard not to. And they kept looking his way.

“Karin, you don’t understand! The swimming pool, with its  _ arousingly _ cool, soothing water, the smell of chlorine, and a bunch of teenage flesh, all so athletic and toned and hormone-driven… The sex tension!”

_ Yeah,  _ Sasuke got the picture.

“Suigetsu, you’re getting on my nerves!”

“Can’t you feel it? I think I’m giving you a vivid description.”

“It’s too explicit for me.”

“Oh, don’t give me that  _ ‘I'm a decent girl who comes from a bourgeois family’ _ shit! You're just as corruptive, Karin!!”

“Suigetsu, I’m leaving.”

“Wait, I need your algebra notebook!”

“You can’t even properly apologize! The second day I was dumped by my boyfriend, you mocked my new hairstyle! You don’t understand how fragile a teenage girl is!”

“C’mon, Karin! You're not fragile! Don’t you always say you’re a strong, independent feminist or something?”

The girl pushed her glasses, snorted, got up, and left.

Sasuke was left alone with the boy with sharp-teeth ( _ and obsession with his fellow teammates _ ).

“She’s unbelievable,” Suigetsu muttered.

It took Sasuke a moment to realize that Suigetsu was addressing him.

“I can show you the answers,” Sasuke said.

He didn’t know why he said that.

“You mean algebra?” Suigetsu asked.

“Yeah. It’s actually quite simple.”

_ (tbc) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I will reply to your comments soon! :)


	5. Being Cool

It didn’t take Sasuke and Suigetsu a long time before they found out that they were actually on the same homeroom class.

“I wasn’t there when Yamato introduced you to the class,” Suigetsu said. “I went back to Kiri to visit my parents. Actually, I just got back in time to catch the lunch break.”

"You don't live with your parents?"

"Well, uh, let's say that my parents don't want me to hang out with the wrong crowd. They think Konoha is a much simpler place comparing to Kiri. But actually Kiri wasn't that big of a big town either. So thanks to them, I now have to live with Karin’s family, ‘cause our parents go way back." Suigetsu shrugged. "They didn't want me to go to the public school in Kiri, after what happened to my brother."

Sasuke pondered if he should ask about what happened to Suigetsu's brother.

"It's no big deal, actually," Suigetsu said. "He got caught hanging with a group of local gangsters, and was kicked out of school. My parents made a fuss over it."

"Your elder brother?"

"Yeah. But it's kind of a misunderstanding," Suigetsu said. "Never mind. Do you have any siblings, Sasuke?"

"An elder brother."

"Whoa, just like me. Is he a jerk?"

"Maybe eighty percent of him."

"I know right? Suigetsu sniggered.

After Sasuke cracked all the algebra questions Suigetsu had on his notebook in less than five minutes, they walked to the Math classroom together. Since Konoha High was such a small school, they had a lot of mutual classes together. It wasn’t like Sasuke’s old school, where each students academic performance was closely examined and measured; students were then distributed to adequate classes. In Konoha High, things seemed much simpler. And, to be frank, Sasuke found it a relief. He did enjoy challenges when it came to academics, but he hated Oto Memorial High School, for various reasons.

“How did you manage to do that?” Suigetsu asked.

“Do what?”

“Solving the problems like a friggin’ computer.”

“I said, they weren’t that hard.”

Suigetsu still looked impressed.

“What, you don’t have that one student in your class? A guy, or a girl, who’s always the top of the class and every teacher’s pet?”

“Of course we have them. Two, actually. A guy, the president of student council, Neji, who’s a year older than us, and the class president of our class, Sakura. But they are sorta obnoxious. If you get what I mean.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Neji’s not that bad, to be fair. He’s kinda hot, good hair, y’know?”

“Yeah...”

“But I won’t take you for a teacher’s pet. That’s why I’m surprised. I wouldn’t have pegged you as a nerd.”

“You know,” Sasuke almost smirked. “Back in Oto, my high school is full of your so-called ‘nerds’. You’ll definitely get bullied there.” 

“Oh really,” Suigetsu said in a tone of carelessness, sending Sasuke a knowing look. “You know, I openly stare at the nudities in the swimming team, but I’m never the target of bullies. Or maybe I’m just too weird to even be considered a candidate.”

“Do they know?” Sasuke asked out of genuine curiosity.

“I don’t know. Maybe some of them?” Suigetsu grinned.

“I’m sure most guys wouldn’t like that sort of attention.”

“C’mon, Konoha is a loving little town,” Suigetsu said wryly. “I’m sure there are plenty of gay people around.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway. You’re an interesting guy.”

“Define ‘interesting’.”

“Intriguing? You piqued my interest?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll say it openly. I’m a connoisseur of men.”

“Which means?”

“You’re kind of narcissistic.”

.:.

The Math instructor was a tall, broad man with nonchalant manners; Asuma Sarutobi was his name. The man didn’t do much as writing the example questions from the textbook down and asking students to go up and solve them on the blackboard. Sasuke was mildly surprised that the students were able to follow through the new lessons, since Asuma didn’t spend much time explaining the thinking process and the obscure concepts.

During the class, he noticed that most of the students indeed had trouble understanding the basic ideas, but Asuma didn’t seem to care. All the man did was staring at his own chest pocket which, Sasuke was sure, was stuffed with a carton of cigarette. _What a teacher. He could even rival with Kakashi._

Well, he wasn’t the one to judge, though. He thought that maybe Asuma was stressed out by something that probably had nothing to do with his teaching; his mind was obviously somewhere else—Sasuke knew that look all too well.

The girl Suigetsu had mentioned, Sakura, and the lazy boy Sasuke remembered from Art class, Shikamaru, were the class’ heroes. When most of the students hit an obstacle to solving the equations, they were asked by Asuma to point out where the problem was. And Sasuke soon found out, albeit reluctantly, that Asuma was beginning to realize that the newly transferred boy also possessed that same capacity.

The next course was Yamato’s Literature, which was extremely dreary. They discussed the rhetorical and symbolical usage of the essays in the anthology Yamato pieced together. Sasuke glanced at his timetable and found out that the next period was PE. He sighed in relief. Finally a chance to escape the confinement of boring classes and the discomfort of his chair.

.:.

Sasuke followed the other students out of the classroom. On the hallway, Sasuke spotted Naruto's blazing blond hair not far ahead. He had spent some time observing the boy when they shared a class. Naruto didn't look like an active student during lecture; his seat was between the teacher's pet girl Sakura (who had _pink_ hair), and a very pale boy (always with a vacant smile) named Sai.

Sasuke didn't know how he should feel towards the boy. Naruto seemed nice and friendly, but there was also something _off_. Sasuke couldn't tell.

_(Maybe because he also lost his parents.)_

.:.

The PE class turned into a game of basketball for the boys and several badminton matches for the girls. The teacher, Hayate Gekkou (a very ill-looking man), allowed them to choose what they’d like to play. And some of the boys voted for basketball (since it looked like they had something yet to resolve).

“I’m kicking your butt today, Kiba,” Naruto grinned viciously at a boy with messy brown hair.

Kiba emitted a crude snort. “Have you forgotten what happened last week? I remember it was _you_ who got your ass kicked.”

“I’ll even mercifully let you pick your team,” Naruto said. “C’mon.”

It seemed like the whole class’ attention was suddenly on these two. And Naruto, who had been looking rather lethargic, suddenly came to life. Sasuke recalled what Suigetsu said about Naruto during lunch.

Kiba chose four boys for his team. Naruto picked Sai, Shikamaru, and Choji. ( _The four of them must be close,_ thought Sasuke.)

While Sasuke wondered how Naruto’s team could beat Kiba’s (because Sai looked inert, Shikamaru lazy, and Choji…well, Choji didn’t seem very competent), he noticed that Naruto was looking his way.

“Do you play?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke was a tad surprised. He thought that Naruto disliked him, or, at least, had a bad impression of him.

“…Yeah,” he said.

“Wanna join us?”

Sasuke glanced around; maybe Naruto had no one else to choose, so he picked him. Or maybe Naruto just wanted to beat Kiba. Either way, Sasuke didn’t like the idea of standing on the sidelines and watching other people play.

“Sure,” Sasuke replied.

.:.

As the game proceeded, Sasuke found out that his teammates were actually not bad. Although Shikamaru had a very laid-back attitude, and would only move around in minimum efforts, he always seemed to appear in the right place at the right time. Sai wasn’t as weak as he looked; he was actually quite agile. Choji was very good at defending; he would efficiently block the players from the opposite team with his massive body.

And Naruto was a whirlwind.

Sasuke would be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit amazed. He didn’t know how Naruto gained his skill. It was true that Naruto wasn’t tall enough to be on the basketball team, but his skill and movement were impressive. And most importantly, Naruto’s stamina didn’t seem to wear off, like, _at all_.

“Pass the ball!” Kiba was shouting.

One of Kiba’s teammates, Shino, dived around the border and successfully evaded Sai. Shino tossed the ball.

Sasuke rushed forward, stretching his arm. He felt the ball slipped through his fingers. _Damn_.

But Kiba didn’t seize the chance. Naruto did.

“Thanks, Sasuke,” he grunted. The ball was in his hands. Kiba was still standing aside, dazed. Shino was caught up by Sai. Choji was guarding two boys, the rest was under Shikamaru’s control.

Naruto sprung toward the basket. Two points. Choji cheered.

And before he could process what was going on, Sasuke felt a smile crept up his face.

_When’s the last time he felt like this?_

He only knew it was probably a long time ago.

.:.

“That was a good game.”

Sasuke glanced toward his left. It was Naruto.

“Yeah, it was,” Sasuke replied, taking off his shirt.

They were in the boy's locker room, changing from their sportswear back into school uniform.

"You're pretty good," Naruto said, taking out his shirt from a locker. It was folded in a poor fashion.

"You're gonna ruin your shirt like that," Sasuke said.

Naruto shrugged, ignoring Sasuke’s statement about his shirt. “You could beat Kiba on your own."

"I thought basketball is about teamwork."

Naruto smirked. "Yeah, it is."

"Besides, you're also a better player than Kiba."

"Yeah, but he always manages to beat my team."

"Maybe not anymore," Sasuke muttered.

Naruto unfolded his wrinkled shirt, which, again, Sasuke took pity on. It seemed like Naruto didn't take good care of his belongings.

"Hey, what's that?" Naruto asked.

"What?"

"Is that a tattoo?" Naruto pointed a finger at Sasuke's left shoulder. "Or is it only a body sticker, like a fake tattoo?"

"Sticker?"

"My friend Sakura loved those," Naruto said.

Sasuke opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He cleared his throat.

"No, it's not a sticker," he said after a moment. "It's a tattoo." He quickly buttoned up his shirt and hid it. He never regretted getting it, but he didn’t want to draw attention in the school.

"I thought we’re too young to get one of those," Naruto said.

"I got some friends who knew the owner of the store. They didn't care how old I was."

"How old were you?"

"I got it a day before I turned fifteen."

"Did it hurt?"

"Not actually."

"I heard that it'd hurt."

“It was kind of a dull pain.” At least it was to him.

"Did your parents freak out when they found out?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke caught himself staring at Naruto's chest for maybe a brief second; he quickly lifted his gaze. Naruto was more muscular then he seemed. Swimming team. Yeah.

"They...they don't know about it," he finally said.

"Oh." Naruto looked puzzled, as if wondering how his parents could miss such a thing,

Since Naruto had only rid off his t-shirt and Sasuke hadn't done with his tie yet, the latter decided to change the subject.

"Hayate said it'll be swimming lessons next week. I heard that you're on the swimming team."

"Yeah," Naruto said. "My dad and I agree on the same thing, that is, I absolutely suck when it comes to other subjects. So he want me to do something with my remaining time in high school. Doing sport is a great choice."

"It is," Sasuke agreed.

"My favorite is actually baseball, but they don't have a baseball team here," Naruto said. "How about you?"

"I don't know if they count as sports, but I love Japanese martial arts. _Kyudo_ ? _Judo_ ? And _kendo_."

Naruto stared at him with wide, adoring eyes. "You play them _all_?"

"Not so often after I started high school."

"That’s so cool," Naruto said.

He blinked, thinking about why it didn't make him feel any better hearing these words.

.:.

Sasuke was leaning against the pole of the bus stop sign outside the school with his hands in the pockets. Cold wind blew at his face. He pulled his bangs away and then pulled out his phone. Kakashi was still trying to reach him. It was annoying. The man just wouldn’t leave him alone. He had tried so hard to escape from the thoughts of him.

He hadn’t replied to any of Kakashi’s messages, and he knew he was doing a good job avoiding them. But every time he received a new one, his heart still stung. It was annoying.

_Wasn’t he the one that said we shouldn’t be together? That I was too young? That I should focus on school and friends and not getting myself into troubles again? Wasn’t he the one that lectured me? What exactly does he want now?_

He understood that it was not an easy thing to cut a person entirely out of your life. Even if you didn’t see one another anymore, the memories, the emotional attachment—it was not like cutting paper with a scissor. It was not as definite.

“Hey, Sasuke.”

Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts and saw that it was Suigetsu, who was crossing the street and walking towards the former’s direction.

“Shouldn’t you be with the swimming team?” Sasuke asked.

“Nah, the training hasn’t started yet. I went to buy me some snacks,” Suigetsu grinned. “I heard that the whole class went crazy for you after you and Naruto won a basketball game against Kiba and his pals.”

“You _heard_ …?”

“Yeah, I’m very resourceful.” Suigetsu took out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and offered Sasuke a smoke.

“Anyway, you’ve successfully established yourself now,” Suigetsu winked, lighting his own cigarette.

“Wouldn’t smoking affect your swimming career?” Sasuke asked.

“You’re no fun,” Suigetsu rolled his eyes, helping Sasuke to light his cigarette.

Sasuke shrugged, taking a long drag. The street was nearly empty; most of the students had gone home, but the staff were probably still in the school. However, he wasn’t too worried about getting caught smoking outside the school.

“I also heard that you have a tattoo on your neck,” Suigetsu said.

“What is this place? _Paparazzi Academy_?”

“It’s a _high school_ , Sasuke,” Suigetsu said wryly. “What do you expect us to do?”

“Oh right, I forgot.”

“Anyways. I heard about it from some of the girls. Apparently Sakura and Ino started the rumor.”

“Who’s Ino?”

“Sakura’s friend.” Suigetsu said. “She’s also the entertainment press for the entire school, which means you’re doomed. Oh my god, you’re gonna be so famous—or should I say, _in_ -famous?”

“Why are you so exited?” Sasuke asked, irritated.

“I love to see people getting unwanted attention.” Suigetsu snickered.

Sasuke ignored him.

“Whatever, you know what’s cool?”

“What now ?” He shot a suspicious look at Suigetsu.

“Oh, don’t worry; this has nothing to do with you being the new sex icon of Konoha High. Karin’s parents are outta town this weekend. Which means. We might get some. Alcohol.” Suigetsu smirked. “Interested?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Are you inviting me to a house party?”

“Don’t worry. It’s just gonna be us and a few Karin’s bandmates. I might try to set you up with one of them. Scared?”

Sasuke shook his head. _Nothing’s worse than Orochimaru._

Suigetsu laughed. “So, Friday after school?”

_(tbc)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter! Again, comments are much appreciated! <3


	6. Explosive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, just want to give a heads-up. If you're underage, don't drink alcohol, Okai? This story is purely fictional. (But if you're underage, you probably shouldn't read this either, I'm pretty sure the rating is explicit. Not that it's very smutty or anything, though. It just features terrible grownups and their bad influence.) Please, stay gold.

Spending lunch time with Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo had become a part of Sasuke’s daily routine. But today none of them showed up during lunch break. Sasuke sat down in a quiet corner of the cafeteria. He didn’t mind eating alone, though.

He sipped his lime juice, taking out his phone so he could continue to read  _ The World as Will and Representation _ on it. But before he unlocked his phone, he caught a messy blond head in the corner of his eyes. Naruto was standing in the crowd (and, actually, standing  _ out  _ in the crowd), looking around for a seat; he wasn’t with his usual company, Sakura and Sai. Sasuke stared at the empty seat across him. It was the nearest available seat.

Naruto found out about that, too. He was walking towards Sasuke’s table, the latter rubbed his palms together. Was he nervous? Because he didn’t know how to handle Naruto. Naruto was…unpredictable.

“Hi,” Naruto set down his tray, sitting down across Sasuke.

“Hi,” Sasuke responded.

“I see you aren’t with your friends,” Naruto said. “The shark boy I mean.”

“The  _ shark boy _ ?”

“Oh, they call Suigetsu that on the swimming team. ‘Cause of his teeth and all. And he’s a pretty fast swimmer.”

“I see.”

“I think he just got called into the principal’s office. He was caught smoking with my cousin, Karin.”

“What’s the consequence?”

“I think they’ll have to help out with errands after school.”

“Hm.”

Naruto gazed at him. “I saw you smoking with them as well.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you do it because you think it’s rebellious?”

“Pardon?”

“Because I know a lot of kids smoke ‘cause they think it’s cool and it makes them rebels.”

“I don’t think it’s cool.”

“Then why do you do it?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to get me to quit?” But he wasn’t angry, nor irritated.

“No, just curious is all.”

“It’s just a bad habit,” Sasuke shrugged. He kind of picked it up from Kakashi.

“I’m surprised they didn’t call you in, with Suigetsu I mean. Maybe they still think you’re a good student,” Naruto said.

“So now you know I’m not one.”

Naruto furrowed his brow. “I’m not saying that. Why do I get a feeling you’re making yourself look bad?”

“Maybe that’s what you’re projecting.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just kidding,” Sasuke continued to sip on his lime juice. He had little appetite these days.

“Really? Aren’t you just trying to get me to stop talking and leave you alone?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like you don’t actually want people to talk to you.”

Sasuke put down his phone—he had been holding it in mid air, with his elbow on the table.

“Okay, talk.” He deadpanned.

Naruto barked a laugh. “You’re low key hilarious, you know?”

“Define ‘hilarious’.”

“You’re kind of like an annoying cat. I’ve never had one so I don’t know. But I bet it’s exactly like that.”

“Elaborate?”

“Like you act like such a prick but is actually cuddly or something.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I bet you get shut down by girls all the time when trying to talk smooth.”

“I wasn’t! Hey, you didn’t think I was flirting with you or something, did you?”

“Of course not,” Sasuke smirked.  _ Damn, straight guys are really sensitive to this kind of stuff, aren’t they? _

“Well anyway,” Naruto continued, unperturbed. “Are you a cuddly type?”

_ However, he’s totally oblivious.  _ “Why would you want to know that?”

“I don’t know. I like to learn about people’s secret sides.” Naruto scratched his chin. “Not everyone’s what they seems.”

“You too?” Sasuke asked. He stared down at a bun on his tray. Interesting, he  _ did  _ feel like eating a bit, now.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. Everyone has a story.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m not always sunshines and kitties, y’know.”

“Where are the kittens, Naruto?” Sasuke took a bite of his bun.

Naruto looked lost. “What?”

“You just said ‘kitties’.”

Naruto stared at him with those round blue eyes for a moment, and then suddenly burst out laughing. “I said that?”

“Yeah.” Sasuke smiled a little. “Why?”

Naruto thought for a moment with his eyes screwed tightly shut.

“I don’t know.” He opened his eyes, and then continued to laugh.

Sasuke couldn’t help but snort, but the smile on his face was widening. “You’re an idiot.”

“Hey!” Naruto yelped. “You don’t get to say that.”

“Why not? Is this your secret side I’m not supposed to discover just yet? Oh wait,” Sasuke paused for a slight moment, and then went on. “It’s right on the outside.”

Naruto pouted.  _ This is fun. _

“I’m regretting sitting down next to you,” Naruto said.

“I thought you liked my humor.”

“That’s not humor. That’s  _ mean _ .”

“Well, you’re not the first one to say it.” Sasuke shrugged. “It’s an established fact.”

“Huh,” Naruto said. “Watch out. I’m coming for your soft side.”

“You, are so corny,” Sasuke frowned. “Who even says that?”

Naruto grinned. “Just wait and see. I’ll be the one laughing till the end.”

“Oh. Are you trying to say,  _ he who laughs last, laughs best _ ?”

“I like my parasentence.”

“You mean  _ paraphrase _ ?”

“Shut up!”

.:. .:.

Sasuke wanted to argue that the rest of the week went by swiftly, however, some moments did seem to drag on forever, such as Yamato’s class. 

Despite the common misunderstanding that he was somewhat popular in school, Sasuke had actually never been to any party.

When he arrived at Karin’s house, he was expecting loud music blasting and teenagers rambling with their friends in a crowded hallway, just like in the movies. But he was wrong. The house was quieter than he expected—not that it was quiet as a library or anything—there was indie music playing in  _ moderate  _ volume, several kids were chatting in the living room; he recognized some of them from their school.

In the adjoining kitchen, Karin was mixing vodka and lime on the island. When she saw Sasuke, her face instantly lit up. But the excitement was quickly dismissed, replaced by an embarrassed scowl.

“Hey! Sasuke! Um…eh...why are you late?” she resumed her work.

Sasuke checked the time on his phone. He thought that nobody would actually show up on time when it comes to house parties.

“Where are Suigetsu and Juugo?” he asked.

“They went to buy more junk food with my other friend,” she said. “We don’t have much in this house. My parents, boring folks.”

“How about the alcohol?” he lifted an eyebrow, suspiciously. “Where did you get this?” He picked up a bottle of vodka on the kitchen counter.

A boy dressed in a cropped turquoise leather jacket strolled into the kitchen. “Well, we brought those with us”

Sasuke glanced at the boy. He had blond hair tied into a high ponytail, with a fringe dangling in front of his face. He also wore big winged eyeliner. There was a certain crudeness seeping through the flamboyant front.

“You’re old enough to buy drinks?” Sasuke asked.

“Who’s this punk?” the boy with a high pony tail seemed very offended.

“Shocking, isn’t it,” Karin rolled her eyes. “We paid him and Sasori for the booze. But they only spared us one bottle. I met them on some open mic night Suigetsu and I sneaked into. Sasori is starting a band, I’m the lead vocal and guitarist.”

“And I offer them my art counsel,” Highponytail said proudly.

“Yeah, whatever, as if. Barely a year in art school and now a total snob,” a new voice said. Sasuke, Karin and Highponytail all turned to the hallway. A red-haired boy appeared, carrying a paper bag full of what seemed like Doritos.

“Sasori, bro,” Highponytail groaned. “What took you so long?”

The red head shrugged and gestured behind him. Suigetsu and Juugo waved to Sasuke as they entered the living-dining area, also carrying grocery bags.

“I’m done buying garbage food for these children,” Sasori sighed. “Now get me something to drink.” To be fair, Sasuke thought Sasori looked younger than Highponytail. They couldn’t be more than two or three years older than him and Karin. And judging by the case of them buying alcohol for these teenagers, quite mentally immature, too. He wondered if he should be worried. Watching Highponytail arguing with the red-headed boy, he let his guard down a little. They just looked like typical college freshmen, more than harmless.

“So, what did you tell your brother?” Suigetsu asked Sasuke when Sasori, Highponytail and Karin started a discussion about their band on the other side of the room. Juugo grabbed a glass of vodka and lime; the look on the big guy’s face after he took the first gulp was rather amusing.

“I said I’ll be staying with some new friends,” Sasuke replied. “You know, help out with homework and stuff.”

“You didn’t say it’s a party?” Suigetsu asked teasingly.

“Of course not, he’s probably never heard of that term before,” Sasuke said.

“Sounds like a bore. Even Juugo knows how to enjoy a drink,” Suigetsu turned to Juugo. “Right, Juugo?”

The tall kid shrugged. “I’m just going to have this one.”

“Ugh, I overestimated you.” Suigetsu shook his head.

Then some acquaintance of Suigetsu’s came over and started drowning them with talks of recent events. Concerts. Gossips. A boy with slicked-back hair who seemed really close to Suigetsu pestered them with this art gallery project he was promoting for his classmate. Sasuke and Suigetsu dismissed it almost instantly, and the latter demanded to know about the slick-head’s new relationship.

Sasuke just sat there and listened to other people’s conversations. He had a couple of drinks but that was about it. He wasn’t keen on getting drunk. He’d seen Obito drunk too many times before, and it ain’t no pretty sight. He didn’t understand why kids his age considered it great fun to get shit-faced wasted. To him it seemed like a road that turned south too quick.

.:.

  
  


“Hey,” a couple of hours later, the boy with a high ponytail wandered by Sasuke’s side again. He stumbled a little and fell into the seat next to Sasuke on the sofa. “Can you stop acting like that?”

“Like what?” Sasuke sipped his raspberry juice slowly. The kid’s eyes were smoldering with antagonization.

“Well, for one, you can look me straight in the face, and not from the corner of your eyes.”

“Why does it matter?”

Highponytail was truly drunk, Sasuke had no doubt about that. He sighed.

“Do you need a hand?” Sasuke asked.

“What?” Highponytail yelled. “You’ve been acting like a jerk ever since we met!”

_ I barely spoke to you,  _ thought Sasuke.

Highponytail jumped up—clumsily—and then fell to the floor, landing on his bottom.

“Go lie down and you’ll feel better,” Sasuke said calmly.

Highponytail muttered something unintelligible. Sasuke sighed again, put down his juice and got up. He hoisted Highponytail up and half-dragged him across the room. Karin had turned the music volume up a notch, and it was some summer bops he really didn’t care about. It was halfway through autumn, but maybe Karin was thirsty for those beats, which was kind of hypocritical since she claimed she was all about indie stuff. Not like he cared. He found an empty room down the hallway, with Highponytail leaning on his shoulder. Judging by the decoration, he assumed this was a guest room. It was too bland.

He let Highponytail slide down and slump to the bed. When he was about to turn away, Highponytail muttered something.

“What did you say about my work?”

“What are you talking about?” Sasuke asked. He didn’t know why he even bothered to talk to some intoxicated, fuming kid.

“I heard you and Hidan talking about my work. ‘I don’t care about it,’ I heard you say. You prick.”

“Just take a nap and sober up,” Sasuke pressed. So that gallery the slick-head had promoted was his school project? Well...

Highponytail sat up straight and grabbed Sasuke’s shirt.

The latter tried to shove him off, but apparently Highponytail’s got some brute strength in himself.

“Fuck off,” Sasuke hissed.

“Apologize,  _ you, _ ” Highponytail glared at him with that stubborn anger. “If you don’t have a good reason for criticizing my work like that, you should shut up.”

Sasuke stared back, but with less intensity. Apparently this guy was possessed by some drunken stupor.  _ People do that.  _ What was the point of even playing along with it? He heaved out a heavy sigh, and rose up.

The next thing Sasuke knew, Highponytail was dragging him atop him. They fell onto the bed together. He stared down at the kid’s stupid angry face.

“What?” Highponytail howled, but his grip on Sasuke’s shirt tightened.

Before Sasuke could comprehend anything, they were kissing. He didn’t know who started it. It just happened. And once he was pinning the boy down to the bed, he felt like there was a fire down his gut that he didn’t even know had been there.

He didn’t even close the door, not that he could recall. He was busy finding the other guy’s zipper, while the other guy his belt buckle. And when the guy had an iron grip down in Sasuke’s pants, he grunted and kissed the other violently. They were just sort of pumping each other and biting each other’s lips. Just as he was about to come, he grasped Highponytail’s hand.

“Bathroom,” he said, panting.

“What?” Highponytail was annoyed as ever. Sasuke wondered if it was just alcohol, or was the guy always this intense.

“It’s other people’s home, for chrissake.”

“Oh,” Highponytail got up. “Fuck. I thought you lost your cool for a second?” He smirked like a fool.

Sasuke pursed his lips, turning towards the en suite bathroom. “Do you..?”

“Do I what? Can’t hear you. My head is spinning like crazy. Jeez.”

Sasuke got off the bed, finally closing the bedroom door. “Condom.”

“Oh, sure,” Highponytail rolled his eyes. “It’s in my purse.”

“Where’s it?”

“Don’t know! Probably outside. On the couch or somethin’. Don’t remember.”

“Never mind.” Sasuke entered the bathroom. Highponytail stumbled in after him.

Before he got pinned to the bathroom wall, Sasuke shut the door and locked it. Highponytail fumbled with Sasuke’s shirt, unbuttoning it clumsily.

“I won’t do it without a condom,” Sasuke reminded him.

“Whatever. Use your mouth. Be creative.”

Highponytail pulled off his own white tank top in a haste—he had already rid off his exquisite leather jacket. There was a large tattoo across his left chest. It looked like some ancient tribe symbol around a huge gaping mouth, in thick lines and seemed like a lot of pain.

“Cool tattoo,” Sasuke commented.

“Yeah, finally saying something nice, aren’t you? I designed it myself.” Highponytail said, smugly. “I would say I like yours as well, if it’s not totally lacking in the creativity department. Japanese symbol? Bo-ring.”

“Whatever you say.”

“You really infuriate me.” Highponytail shook his head, yanking Sasuke’s pants down and falling to his knees.

Sasuke couldn’t help but gasp as he was swallowed too suddenly. Highponytail grinned deviously around his cock, gazing up at him under those heavy eyeliner. And Sasuke had to admit to himself that the large wings complimented the guy’s eyes. They were blue.  _ Just like Naruto’s. But Naruto’s were bluer. _

_ What the fuck...? _

His fingers sank into the softness of Highponytail’s hair, messing it up. The boy sure knew how to take care of his hair.

“I’m near,” he warned Highponytail. But the other only sped up his movement. “Wait…” he gasped, clutching the shoulders of the older boy, whose hair spread on the lean, muscular back like a golden waterfall.

Sasuke came in Highponytail’s mouth with a grunt. Slowly regaining a sense of reality, he realized that he was crouching on the floor with his chin resting on the other boy’s shoulder. Still catching up his breath, he leaned back and saw a complacent, drunken grin on Highponytail’s face.

“I’m...uh,” he stopped himself, not sure of what to say.

“Was that...explosive?” Highponytail cocked his head to one side. Not waiting for Sasuke’s response, he stood up, looked down on the latter and announced. “My turn.”

.:.

Highponytail was curled up in the bathtub, fast asleep. Sasuke got up groggily from the bathroom floor, where he had been sitting for about ten minutes now. He didn’t know what time it was—probably well past midnight.

After he washed his hands, his face, and rinsed his mouth several times, he buttoned up his shirt and turned to the door.

Opening the bathroom door and stepping out, he almost bumped into someone.

“Sorry,” that someone said. Sasuke glanced down and saw that it was Karin. She was flushing red, presumably from the alcohol.

“Um, I didn’t see you,” Sasuke muttered.  _ How long has she been standing here? _

She nodded. Sasuke sighed. Everybody was wasted. But what else to expect?

“You don’t want to use this bathroom. Someone’s drunk and sleeping in there,” Sasuke said.

“I just want to wash my hands,” she said blankly.

“How much did you drink?” Sasuke asked.

“Just a little,” she replied matter-of-factly, and then giggled.

Sasuke stepped aside so she could pass. But Karin stood rooted to the ground.

“Aren’t you going in?” he asked.

“Who’s in there?” she inquired back.

“I don’t know, that college guy with long blond hair?” Sasuke shrugged.

“Deidara? What were you guys doing in there?” Karin asked.

“I was washing my face,” Sasuke said stiffly. “He’s sleeping.”

Karin squinted. “You’ve been gone for an hour or something.”

“Yeah, I was tired,” Sasuke folded his arms, leaning against the doorframe.

“Why are you acting weird?” Karin demanded.

“What? I’m not,” Sasuke said, almost a bit defensively. He reminded himself that he was dealing with a drunken Karin, who wasn’t even that clear in the head to begin with.

“Yes, you are,” Karin said, nodding in affirmation. “If you wanna sneak out and make out with my friend, it’s fine.”

“Are you angry?” Sasuke unfolded his arms. He couldn’t tell if Karin was being serious or not.

“Well, I should have known,” she rolled her eyes. “Suigetsu woulda tried to set you up with his other gay friends had he not been too  _ busy _ himself. At first I thought he was trying to mess with me, because he knew I thought you’re cute.”

Sasuke sighed. “Karin, even if I’m gay, this is none of your business.”

She smiled a bit sadly, and turned away, disappearing into the hallway and leaving Sasuke standing alone on the threshold of the bathroom. It would have been silent in the room, if not for Deidara’s snoring.

And then, someone broke the silence. It was Suigetsu, sticking his head into the guest bedroom.

“There you are!” he exclaimed. “Did I interrupt anything?” There was definitely an undertone.

“Not really,” Sasuke replied stiffly.

“Great! Sasori’s knocked out upstairs. I stole his keys, searched his car and found his secret stash. I made Jägerbomb. We’re doing shots!” Suigetsu threw his hands in the air, running towards the living room. And Sasuke followed him without a word.

_ It can’t be all that bad, can it? _

_ (tbc) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I had an epiphany the other day that the whole Naruto series might just be a huge Freudian slip just because let's face it, it's a bit homoerotic isn't it (As someone who grew up in semi-conservative Asian culture, I've learned to read between the lines)? Of course this is just my very insignificant and personal opinion. But I'll say I've always found the Akatsuki a bit queer-coded? It sure suffices my need for queer representation in preteen years. (Just because of some nail-polish and fabulous coats? How sad lol)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter, it's a bit longer than usual as well :p
> 
> I've also come up with a new title for the fic. (Been wanting to fix the old one since I started editing/rewriting. Might change it after the next chapter. I'll keep the old one as a subheading.)


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